spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
