just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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