South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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