If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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