dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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