What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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