That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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