I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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