Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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