dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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