i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize