she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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