I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
