After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
