I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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