just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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