I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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