he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
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Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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