i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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