Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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