Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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