the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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