I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
