this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
