It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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