real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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