Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
They have beer where we have blood.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
