In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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