Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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