OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize