her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize