were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
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He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
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Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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