I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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