he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
