Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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