On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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