she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
