my room smells like sperm. sweet.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
