Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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