Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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