No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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