somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize