hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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