No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
