there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
