It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
