We won't sleep together?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
