No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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