Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
