I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
