it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize