can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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