I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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