found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
