Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
