I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
